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I’ve been obsessed with the song for a while now but more for the style than the lyrics.  This week however, it feels the lyrics are actually starting to ring true.  I don’t know for sure what Florence’s real meaning is but to me, I interpret the song as a girl that runs from happiness because she is safe with being content and instead stays in situations that remain that way rather than taking risks.  Well as you know if you’re a follower, this summer has been about breaking that habit personally.  I broke up with my long term boyfriend, who is a very good man for another lucky woman, because it was a relationship that was more convenient than happy for the both of us.  Last month it was easier because I was only dealing with loosing him, which we had pretty much led up to for months so it wasn’t the end of the world or anything.  This month however my anxiety’s been kicking in because I’ve been doing the self employed thing and supporting myself entirely.  Paying a large house payment today set that reality in and then to seal the deal I got news that my ex-husband is engaged.  I am actually really happy for him and his new fiance, they are both incredible people, it’s not that it made me sad but I guess set in the new single factor in my life which I guess had not thoroughly adjusted yet.  To make my life more of an upside down mess my brother and I got the great idea to renovate the house, starting Sunday with ripping out all the carpet.  Only, being the Pollocks (as in Polish, not artistic geniuses) that we are, rented the sander before doing any demo work and have since been on speed mode to finish everything before Home Depot requires it back at 7pm tonight.  My house is literally smushed all into one room, I can’t find anything at all to start my wholesale order that needs to go out next week and the dog is so stressed he’s dropping chunks of hair everywhere.  After seriously contemplating abandoning John to the sanding and making my way to the nearest Mexican patio, I sat down to blog instead.  And with all that going on I couldn’t think of anything to write about, so I put on my Itunes and started selfishly thinking about how it’s Cait’s birthday today and she should leave work early to day drink with me.  Luckily, my raging alcoholic tendencies were subdued when Florence serenaded me from my speakers with a little wake up call.  All of these things that I just spent the whole page bitching about are things that I have done to make myself happy, not miserable.  Perhaps, as the song says:

Happiness, hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her, stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with a drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

So there you go, right?  Drinking, boyfriends/husbands that don’t make me happy, the clutter in my life, it’s all things I’ve used to move away from happiness and well, it’s time to face it, them dog days are over.  It’s time to make a conscious decision and use this opportunity of being able to do anything the f*** I want as exactly that.  Slowly but surely I’m getting it boys and girls, this may not be an early bird gets the worm life but soon it will be the life that I want because I have the ability to make it that.  So while I still may venture to a cantina for a little lovin’ from Mr. Cuervo tonight it will be to share a special day with my best friend, maybe flirt with a cute boy but not to try to make him a forever boy, drop off some stuff to goodwill because other people could actually use my hoards of things and to laugh, at myself and with others, a lot.  Life is about enjoying the little things but also about making well thought out decisions for the big things and giving them time to show you the way that’s right rather than rushing anything.  I will just have to repeat that mantra to myself as I wait two days for the polyurethane to dry before I can move all this crap back into it’s correct place in the house :)

Here’s the progression of the floors, thank God for John and his best friend Travis!